Chinese Joke about Osama Bin Laden... is it funny?

賓拉登說：中國是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家！ 阿拉伯半島電視臺對賓拉登的最新採訪。
Bin Laden said: China is the only country in the world should not be attacked! Arabian peninsula TV station interview revealed.


賓 拉登說：中國是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家！
Bin Laden said: China is the only country in the world that should not be attacked!

原因是這樣的：蓋達組織曾派出八名恐怖分子襲擊中國。
This is the reason: Al Qaeda actually sent 8 terrorists to attack China. 

結果：一人在炸北京西直門立體交通橋時，在橋上迷了路；
Result: one man tried to bomb the Beijing West Gate Bridge, but lost his way on the bridge.
(Cultural reference: the West Gate Bridge is actually a series of foot bridges. It is very easy to get lost if you don't have a map or read the signs)

一人在上海坐公車自殺炸彈時，擠了兩小時沒擠上車；
One man tried to bring a bomb onboard a bus in Shanghai, but he wasn't able to get on a bus after two full hours. 

一人在武漢炸超市時，炸彈遙控器被偷；
One man tried to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but when he tried to detonate, he found that a pickpocket had taken his detonator. 

一人在炸成都政府大樓時，在門口被保安當作疆獨份子逮捕、狂揍、逼 供。 
One man tried to bomb the government building in Chendu, but was immediately arrested by Public Security as a suspicious character from the outer Mongolian regions, and was beaten into a confession. 

一人成功地河北炸礦，死傷數百人，潛回蓋達基地後，半年沒見任何新 聞報導，遂被組織以謊報戰果罪"處決了； 
One man was able to successfully attack a coal mine in Hebei, and there were several hundred casualties. He made it back to Al Qaeda base, but after six months, there was absolutely no news coverage. He was then executed by Al Qaeda for lying. 

一人曾經嘗試炸廣州，結果剛一出火車站，炸藥包就給飛車黨搶了。 
One man tried to bomb the market in Kwongzhou, but as soon as he made it out of the train station, a motorcycle bandit took his backpack bomb. 

一人剛到中國就失聯，後來在上海醫院找到人，但還在昏迷當中，醫生說他不但吃到黑心食品，還喝到假酒，可能會成為植物人。 
One man disappeared right after he entered China. Later Al Qaeda agents found him in a Shanghai hospital. Turned out he ate contaminated food, and possibly fake liquor, and was poisoned into a coma. 

後來，賓拉登改派一女恐怖分子去炸海南島，結果竟然被騙去賣淫!!
Bin laden was desperate and sent one of his few woman operatives to blow up Hainan island. Unfortunately, she was tricked by a human smuggler and sold as a sex slave. 

賓拉登不得不說：記得！！中國是全球唯一絕對不能惹的國家！
Bin laden finally declared, REMEMBER! China is the only country in the world not to be attacked!

I can't claim credit for this joke. I heard it months ago, but just remembered it now to translate it.